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            I’m flattered when you say, “You are so beautiful”.

I could only wish that you don’t only look at me with your eyes

For the eyes could be tricked, speckled…eventually, tears may well-up and blind you.

I could only wish you don’t only feel the subtlety of my skin

For my touch could also guide you, where my heart lies beneath the surface.

I could only wish you don’t only stare me up-close with your eyes opened

For even with eyes wide shut you could still imagine my adorable smile.

I could only wish you don’t only rock me in front of you at the rear

For, we could always swing-along side by side, through the ups and downs of life.

I could only wish you don’t only perceive me as hot, as a bun on the run

For, I could be kept warm as long as the flame remains ignited.

I could only wish you don’t only mesmerize by the trimmed figure

For sooner, my belly would swell with joyfulness

And in time, physical beauty withers…when it happens

You can’t guarantee me that you’d still see me the way you do, now

That’s why I could only wish, you also recognize the real me…inside.

*May 1, 2005, Chongqing, China 

I was  

I wasn’t seeking for someone, because I knew, I could be alone and not lonely...most of the times…

One autumn night, in a room filled with faceless crowd,

I sensed that someone…sitting at the dark corner is gazing at me,

But I ignored it, knowing that it could be another one of those random acquaintances.

One winter night, in the room filled with the same faceless crowd

I recognized a familiar shapeless face, used to sit at the dark corner

Beamed and dazzled me.  I knew, that smile could probably from someone not just with shallow

intentions…So, I allowed myself to return the grin with few words of acceptance.

Dawn of spring…there He came, walked lightly into my life.

A bright face, I could easily imagine when I close my eyes

Captivated my wild soul but not trying to tame it, for he knows

I am aware enough to temperate my raging passion for life!

*March 11, 2005, Chongqing, China

There are pirates in the sea of uncertainty…in the quest for perpetual wealth

They know that I am one cave of treasures they can set sail to

Many have disembarked and fled with my possessions,

Thinking it has value outside my cove.

You are one explorer, who may find things in this cave interesting…

And no matter if you choose to stay or go,

Footsteps you will leave on my shore will be forever embedded 

But, for this moment in time,

This arc of mine, teeming with wonders

Will be your safe refuge from the improbability of life!

*March 11, 2005, Chongqing, China

With all the places you’ve been and the things you’ve seen

You still need to move on, your heart set on your dreams

You are strong-willed, be rest assured

That anything in this world you want could be yours.

You are my current, you are my muse

I am inspired not just amused

You make me smile, you make me hum

You make me two-fold, when I’m just supposed to be whole.

At the moment, my existence

Is yours for the sharing

But the chance to be with you, even for a while is so uncertain

Your fondness of me, is only better in my mind

I may not have the heart to let you go

For I know, at this instant, it will bleed

But, I’ll let you soar and all the rest

I know, not just hope… I’ll find on my own.

*January 11, 2005, Chongqing, China

In between the past and the future, there is today

Between the day and night, there is more than the twilight

There is a rosy dawn, between the night and day,

Between the pain and the glory there’s a threshold of wisdom.

Between bliss and misery there is haze

Between black and white there is more than gray

In between the storm and calm there is a rainbow

And there is pink between the white and the red.

Between sleeping and awakening, there is the lullaby

Between the way in and the way out, there’s a maze of tracks.

Between reality and fantasy, there is sanity

There is a sketch of the view, between the dreams that you dream.

In between the query and the reply, there’s the stillness of the space

Between the breathe in and the breathe out, there is pureness of the air

Between the sweltering summers, there is a coolness of the breeze,

Between the cold winter nights there is warmness of my thoughts

Between the kiss and the goodbye there is the companionship

Between the cradle and the grave, there is somebody, like me

Between the caress and the cuddle, there are words I hope you’ll say

All that is, yet to be said, all that has to be--- between yesterday and tomorrow.

*January 5, 2005, Chongqing, China

I am a fearless warrior, fought many battles and sung many war songs

I am not troubled that tomorrow may not come, for tonight’s fight, I may lose

But I am proud to sing one more time for you may not hear this voice again

I am a fearless warrior, fought many battles and danced many war dances

I am not disturbed that tomorrow may not come,

I shall dance once more with the throbbing of my heart that only I, could hear

I am a fearless warrior, fought many battles and wrote may love poems

I am not distressed that today maybe the last and tonight would be the past

I’d still pen this last verse for you to translate

I’ve bled, I bleed, and until the last drop of red, I’d struggle ardently

I know that battles are being fought and in this war, I don’t know what’s ahead of me

Fallen could I be, but in no doubt…be remembered.

*December 29, 2004, Chongqing, China

We fall and sometimes, fell out of love

We break into somebody’s heart and at times

Breaks out and leave our hearts broken

But no one knows his fate until tomorrow, becomes today

Embrace and kiss this day, bid yesterday, goodbye

Sometimes we do ask us, “Why good things never last?”

Everything comes to pass… nothing comes to stay

Breathe in, breathe out…you can never have it all

But no matter what happens

The wheel keeps on going

Just open your eyes and you will see

The world itself, is a meaning for living

Put a grin on your sad face, damp your dry lips red

Blush your pale cheeks pink, and flutter those teary eyes

There’s ebb and low, hot and cold

Pop or drop, we should all go

Tread your path, step by step

Take time to gaze around…

Angels are not always up there

They might be around, somewhere

After the storming there’s calming

Dusk swallows the day but the dawn beams light

And in the midst of all the worries and troubles

Peace is just inside your heart.

*October 2004, Chongqing, China

Outside of me, is just a girl you may have seen in your fantasies?

Inside, is a real woman you could find not just in your dreams?

Outside, are dark shadows circling my eyes 

Inside, sees the panoramic view of life in vivid colors

Outside, are full lips that invite kisses

Inside is a cave of wondrous treasure of words

Outside, is a smile that launches thousands of ships

Inside, battles hostilities and prejudice amongst women, my kind

Outside, are ears adorned by pearl rings

Inside, hears the echo of throbbing friends in need

Outside, are limbs that embrace warm bodies with regards

Inside, tackles everyday domestic duties

Outside, are plump breasts inviting tender caress

Inside, ignites compassion and passion

Outside, are hip bones that swings and bid cajoles

Inside, is a nest of perpetual pleasure and existence

Outside, is just a lone person who enjoys the company of many

Inside, is a self with no lonesome sentiment, yet seeks the familiarity of one

Inside, bursts with eagerness to flutter the spirit

Outside, I am free!

*September 2004, Chongqing, China

Can be luck that we were born far away from each other
so; we could both have fun with distance?
The fact of my existence in a foreign land made me
climb the mountain of possibilities
solely trekking the path of probabilities
of counting the freckles on your body.
Never could imagine there were only
Too many, many ways to like somebody

I could only see you and read your thoughts

How I wonder, the sound of your voice.

At whatever time, everywhere
we’ll discover to be together
You'll be there and I’ll be near
that would be the deal my dear
We’ll be all over, top and under
We’ll no longer have to wonder
We can always have fun, thereafter
what would be the deal my dear?

*September 2004, Chongqing, China

M

My essence of my being has been snatched

When you walked away from me

It’s like looking at the world in black and white,

Though, it is painted with bright colors.

It’s like tasting an aged wine like cheap, sour vinegar

It’s like hearing a sweet tune like it’s just a buzzing sound.

It’s like smelling a freshly bloomed rose with a stuffed nose

It’s like a feather on a skin, numbed by anesthesia.

Everything that was good to me has no value now.

I am a penniless hopeful in a world of extravagance.

And, I am just a speck without an essence

*August 2004, Chongqing, China

consumed our last night together, exhausted and you fell asleep.

As I watch you in your solitude slumber,

I tiptoed out of the room and knowing there is no turning back,

Tears welled up my eyes.

I reasoned to myself, “this is the right thing to do yet, the hardest way is to let go of the feelings”.

We’re happy together, sharing all the good things

But when a storm hits our path the worst burst out from us

You’re afraid to commit yourself to me and I’m just a temporary relief to your loneliness.

A bitter reality that is hard to swallow.

I argued to myself, “this is the right thing to do yet, the hardest way is to let go of the feelings”.

I still love you and maybe this love will linger as long as it wants to.

Only time can tell until when.

My feet drags me away from this scene, leads me to where I’m supposed to be.

My true self, my home.

I conformed, “it is indeed the hardest thing to let go of the feelings yet, this is the right thing to do”.

We consumed our last night together, exhausted and you fell asleep.

As I watch you in your solitude slumber,

I tiptoed out of the room and knowing there is no turning back,

Tears welled up my eyes.

I reasoned to myself, “this is the right thing to do yet, the hardest way is to let go of the feelings”.

We’re happy together, sharing all the good things

But when a storm hits our path the worst burst out from us

You’re afraid to commit yourself to me and I’m just a temporary relief to your loneliness.

A bitter reality that is hard to swallow.

I argued to myself, “this is the right thing to do yet, the hardest way is to let go of the feelings”.

I still love you and maybe this love will linger as long as it wants to.

Only time can tell until when.

My feet drags me away from this scene, leads me to where I’m supposed to be.

My true self, my home.

I conformed, “it is indeed the hardest thing to let go of the feelings yet, this is the right thing to do”.

*2004, Seoul Korea

Are you still worth of my love after all that you’ve done?

One more step towards this door is your clue to my decision

Made up my mind, there’s no turning back

Packed all my memories of good and bad

Bring it wherever I’ll be

Keep it my pocket after all these times of reconsideration

I’ve realized you won’t change for the better

I’m giving your freedom back as well as mine, too

I hope you’d understand and let’s move forward

We won’t exactly know what’s beyond this closed door

But definitely a path that leads to separation

*2003, Seoul Korea

Love is not just heaved words of dreams and promises

It is also a complete narrative of a day’s episode

Love is not just dawn that awaits the sun to rise

It is also the unyielding labor of the sinew to provide nourishment for the body and mind

Love is not a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

It also a pot of stew on the table of a famished belly

Love is not just a tranquil dusk that relaxes a weary heart

It also a safe retreat to anxious kin

Love is not just copulation

It is also the union of souls yearning for perpetual bliss

Love is not just a murmuring melody through the air

It also a lullaby that puts a child to slumber

Love is indeed, a many splendored things

Yet, not just one day a person needs to unravel the mystery of life….

For love is the clue.

*2003, Seoul Korea

Before you came into my life

I was so uninspired

Took everything to chance

Luck was my guide

I never expected your arrival

‘Cause you came from behind

And when I turned my head

You were smiling at me and said “hi”

I was so bit skeptical, cynical if I should say

You’re just too good to be true

And I guess I’ll say

“I’m fortunate, it could be you

Time proved me wrong

You’re right for me,

Now, I’m satisfied

Must really say

“I’m blessed that it’s you!”

*2003, Seoul Korea

Your love does not just know

The lines and curves of my body

But you dug through my skin and recognized

The color of my bones

Your love is not just bringing flowers

At my doorsteps

You’ve planted a rose with lesser thorns

And buried it in my bosom

Your love is not just building me a house

Of many dreams

You’ve furnished it with laughter,

Tears, hopes and dreams

Your love to me is not just singing a melody

Of flattery and cheers

You also recited the poetry

Of hardship and struggle

Life is not perfect

Your love is not all sweet and tender

But with your love, life becomes real

And my existence becomes whole

*2003, Seoul Korea

Have you looked around you lately and saw the signs of the times?

People swarming in the malls in the heat of the afternoon instead of walking along the parks, at the bay… witnesses the sinking of the sun?

Cell phones ringing in the tune of soap operas

Instead of learning to play a favorite song with preferred musical instrument?

Surfing the channels of a television set instead of reading a good piece of literature

Children striking the counters with their simulated war instead of making friends with a game of “patintero”

Mothers rearing other’s children, afar from home, instead of nourishing her own child?

Fathers digging up oil in midst of a war inflicted area instead of securing his families safety in their private homes?

We’ve gone mad about technology that we forgot our humanity

We’ve gone mad about the economy that we forgot equality

We’ve gone mad about love for a person that we forgot our country

We’ve gone mad about showbizness that we forgot reality

We’ve gone mad about politics that we forgot god

We are humans made to be perfect by mistakes 

Brought to this world by a deeper reason

Love and respect one another 

The time has come to send a signal

Free our minds from individualism

Gather our strengths to understand these hardships

Because, these are the signs of the times…

*2003, Seoul Korea

You go out of the house to find some love

You seek it through the thick smoke of cheap joints

The sweet smell of promises drowns you

There, your body lies beside a stranger.

You make yourself up to draw attention

Posting an ad on your friendly smile

A cute newcomer applies

And another empty night will be spent.

Why do you keep crawling on the floor?

When hearts are just floating in the midst of uncertainty?

Love cannot be found from the moment you look for them

It comes around as if you don’t need it.

And somebody knows when… it is the right time

And when the right time comes, you’ll be glad you did not expedite.

*2003, Seoul Korea

You are my strength, you are my pride

You are my joy, you are my life

I am your home, you are my song

I am your breath, you are my soul

We make sweet music together

We light the fire through the heat of the night

We hold each other’s hands ‘till the end of time

You are the color, I am the canvas

We create beautiful picture, both of us

We cast a shadow of happiness and content

I am the rainbow you are the pot of gold

At night, you are the shooting star and I am the moon

We are the universe, we are the space

We share everything to each other because we are one and the same

*2003, Seoul Korea

The moon did not show her face tonight

Dawn is still hours away from this moment

The dose of darkness seldom visits me

And the night is too long, Mama.

I always think of you, Mama.

I keep on digging the memories of my childhood

I’ve already forgotten the sound of your voice,

How sweet was it, when you try to dance me to sleep?

I always think of you, Mama.

I keep on searching the pictures of yesterday, washed by the cold rain

How soft was the touch of your caress upon my cheeks, when you try to woo me to stop crying from hunger?

I always think of you, Mama.

I keep on looking at the child of my past

Fading as time goes by

How soulful was your stare, when you try to teach me the colors and shapes of things around me?

I always think of you, Mama.

I keep thinking the many things you try to

Do for me, And

Why do I always forget?

Now, it’s dark and cold out here from the distance

And I still keep on thinking about you, Mama.

I just press myself against the bed in slumber

So, I could only feel the beating of my heart.

Now, it reminds me of your

Image as a mother…

See me as a grown-up, Yet, never forget, I was your youngest born.

Stroke me at the back and

Empathize on my labors.

Please, sing me a lullaby, Mama.

I long for the melody that could put me to

Sleep and dream…

So, I could wake up and welcome a bright new day!

*November 15, 1997, 3:00 a.m., Seoul Korea

I have to bid goodbye

Cause now is the time

Before, your world was cold to me

Then you came with a bright smile that melted the bite

I’m just trying to survive and live my life peacefully

I hasten to come here alone with a handful of dreams

Abandoned a tie, in return could bring me more comfort.

What I got is a suitcase of experiences in which my whole lifetime could not consume.

You’ve been an island in this sea of confusion.

There are miles of land and sea between us

And if I’ll have my way

I’ll find myself back in your arms again,

Once again, my friend.

*January 21 1997, Seoul Korea

I, love each other

Me and you, talk about everything that is grand and beautiful.

Both of us, together are happy

Because we love each so much

We receive not only the body

                   not only the intellect

                   not only the soul

                   not only the passion.

But, ourselves…

We try to share and connect not only to one another

The wonderful things we enjoy

Yet, they, our beloveds are not apt to accept such gifts.

You and your family are contented.

You frequently gaze at one another---it appeases you all.

But when you attempt to just turn your head and look at the nook where I stand---smiling.

Without even moving a step towards the corner

Unhappiness envelops the ground where we all persist

Me and my family, we love each other

They respect me for being me

But, I try to let them understand

I am not just one of them

Who tries to conform to the descendant’s rule

Polygamy is an unaccepted Christian norm.

All of us here, we live happily embracing each other’s interests.

You and they, can live harmoniously

As long as you perpetually give in

Me and them,

They will cheerfully accept only the other half of me

I cannot live fully if I’m not whole

I cannot share many things, if I don’t have plenty

I cannot ignore the other half of me and only love my own half-self

If I endure without these requisites

I will live…

Alone, left with happiness only I share with myself

Commendable it may seem

But, I’d rather die,

Alone and whole.

*April 14, 1996, Manila

have been an image of a father that has departed long ago.

Memories have been left of years passed

I recall, you tightly holding my fragile arms

Offered a shoulder to lean on

Vowed, a sense of direction.

I still see you, as an image of a father, providing a future

To your own daughters, sons and wife…

Your own family.

As I glance through the pictures of yesteryears

I seek the scene of promises lost along the pages of time

I am a leaf waiting to be moved,

Read the lines of my story,

Perhaps you’ll appreciate me more.

*1996, Manila

You were my opposite

Likely both of us would feel the anxiety, disturbance loss of self-worth.

If the two of us were the same

Recognition and appreciation to my unending with the man you tied the knot with and attached your-self with, would not be this unsympathetic.

You could possible find a detour of wasted long hours of speculation---why you were not the one beside him, in some sudden moments you feel to be kissed, cuddled or even caressingly pressed by his palms?

You may have uncovered yourself competent in writing poems and stories that doesn’t only pertain to the heart of one particular person.

You can also hear not only the cracked scream and gashed cramp of your throat.

Your own voice shall put you to sleep like a cold breeze that dampens the nape in seasons of heat.

Strike the keys of the instruments that conduct a sensuous melody

Unleash the spirits who long to surpass silence

Sketch not only the lines of anguish of your fellow being

You can also draw the twitching of cheeks and grinning of the lips painted with rainbows.

Your feet carries you not only to the paths where the shanties of your neighbors

Trample every joint that connects the sinews of your hips to swing to the beat of your pulse.

You should have seen, not all color of roses are red.

It can be offered at the niche of your grave.

Alone, breath will be seized

The only thing that people around you can do is to give you a larger space.

Solely inhale the air that will resurrect you from your decomposing totality.

*1996, Manila

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Am I, a lover you should trust?

If my past, is always measured by the present truth

I have no more time to explain

My tomorrow depends on yesterday’s confession

I am now crossing the breath of today.

*1996, Manila

Clouds wrap the sunless afternoon

Passion dampens the lips and quickly melts the chocolate- like raindrops that trickles and

Floods the heart!

*1996, Manila

You receive

Resentment and threats

From my mother and brother,

Still our lips, cheeks,

Hands and shoulders meet

Either at the elliptical or corner of the road.

From this spot, we keep on searching

Escalators and elevators, the foundation

And materials for our plans.

The sun sets

Perspiration desiccates into salt

Our only grain of hope

One,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five

Years more, the farness of fulfillment

And still no symptom of subsided

Resentment and threats.

Nightfall overcasts our heads

And we bid goodbye that glides on the air

Either at the elliptical or corner of the road.

From this spot intensifies

The clasping of our breast,

The fondling of our plans.

As we leave passionately,

The stars glow as you kiss my brow---

A lights you keep in the darkness

Overshadowing the midst of our momentary separation.

*1995, Manila

A moment of solitary

Darken one’s door,

A portal to my psyche.

Long declared friendships?

Acquaintances, Mates, Comrades…

Relinquished the days of yore.

Yet, I am not apt to gamble the last ace on my deck.

Trust in my being is what I am left of.

Even my own mother is worthless of such faith,

Cannot disown her seed, yet cannot claim to bear her daughter’s love.

The sister’s whom I call,

Abridged the cord we once clutched together.

I am at the other end, grasping the last filament of exasperation!

They linger to see me like this.

Burnt by my own heat.

Enraged by silence!

I die.

They pursuit of happiness,

Love was the lamb to be sacrificed.

The sheep looks at me with blank sentiment,

A question marked the face.

“Are all these things meritorious enough?”

I, the chancer-shepherd, felt again the remoteness.

A speck in a vacuum.

I, is a burden, a load to carry.

Embarking the panorama of empty wishes.

Resurrected Anew,

Alone.

*August 26, 1995, Manila

ARDENT REPLY WHILE MUSING AT THE WINDOW ON ANOTHER CLOUDY AFTERNOON.

I am a mark on the leaf of your book.

I am a silhouette who dances in the dark of the moon.

I am a whisper in the wind which can be read along the sweet verses of a song.

I am a fire that kindles the dampened grove in your heart.

I, assume.

I am a persistent soul who knocks at your sympathy.

I am a suitor, naked!

Receive me,

Hear me.

Dimness overcasts my eyesight.

Still in my bosom remains a deep shade of pink.

Romance and passion

Born of true,

Almost, perfect love.

*August 26, 1995, Manila

I am not just a warrior of a bloody battle

I am also a woman who can bleed and love at the same time.

I seek not only the righteous, still crave for comfort.

It was not my intention to bruise my sister’s soul.

My admiration with her grew, as much as I adore her husband.

The pleasure was to bring back the lost child within their father’s being, and not to haul his parental affection.

Perhaps, I am wrong to assume, I am virtuous enough.

A stolen six hour, four times a week romance is what I am guilty of.

But…it could only be paralleled to a once a week movie viewing

A stroll along air-conditioned malls

Or a full action-packed Saturday nights with closest buddies.

On many thoughts…

I am blame-worthy of a crime.

I loved a man,

Who loves me

Loves his children,

Loves his wife,

And above all knows not only with his head

But also with his heart

That he should gratitude his essence.

So, strike me as a conviction for my wickedness until you satisfy your intellect.

I have welded a shield to contract the contusions.

Combatants mostly are not exact,

Fear has no face in the battlefield.

I’ll let myself die with hemorrhage,

For all that…

Red, is the color of love!

*August 15, 1995, Manila

PROLOGUE:      No matter how much I endear you

                            Uncertainty leads to perpetual longing.

FACT:                There are thousands of words ready to be picked

                            But only few words, I could find

                            To describe what I am now experiencing.

HYPOTHESIS:  Perhaps, insufficient vocabulary

                            Reduces the intense sensation

                            Or maybe, just being cautious to

                            What words I should choose.

FACT:                 I’m no longer a virgin on this matter

                            I went through this a couple of times… many times.

                            I usually bestowed my deepest desire

                            Accustomed to unreciprocated yearning.

STATEMENT:   Phrases regarding Eros’ subject are quite rhetoric

                            I, as mostly described by other as eccentric

                            Would like to preserve a consistent image. still

                            In this moment of unseasonal passion would again offer my being

                            To another episode.

EPILOGUE:       Cognition on your part

                            Would be highly appreciated

                            End the uncertainty!

*February 1996, Manila